Seeking professional help is a big decision.
Some struggle for years before they decide to seek help in therapy, and if you’re making that choice, then you should feel proud of your commitment to positive change.
There are a few things you should know about therapy that are true regardless of the type of therapy being administered. Here’s what they are:
1. It’s a Process
Most issues in therapy will take time to pick apart.
Some therapies are designed to be short-term, and if a patient is no longer struggling with an issue, they will be encouraged to use what they’ve learned on their own.
But when it comes to severe issues such as…
- Self-harm and suicidal thoughts
- Chronic anxiety
- Emotional dysregulation
- Bipolar mood shifts
…therapy takes on a structured, systematic approach that’s designed to address key issues and build coping skills over the long term.
Healing is a commitment a patient makes in therapy, knowing that although it won’t happen overnight, progress will be made with time.
2. Therapy is Collaborative (and Evaluative)
Therapists are human beings, and their job is to treat you like a human being too.
Real therapy is not a cold evaluation. It is not a patient sharing their problems with a disinterested, notetaking doctor who asks them personal questions before assigning them homework.
Therapists want to use their skills and knowledge to work with you. They want to be your partner in your healing process. They want to see you make progress.
Yes, they do observe you and evaluate how you’re coming along. But this is all in service of helping you and making sure you’re moving in the right direction.
Allowing someone to witness the most vulnerable parts of ourselves is a big deal, and it requires trust to do so. This should not be done out of obligation or pressure.
If you can trust that your therapist has your back, and that they have their own messy humanness, then you can lean into sharing yourself with them for the sake of getting better.
3. It Will Be Difficult at Times
Some people restructure their entire perceptions of the world and themselves in therapy. Making changes this drastic does not come without some adversity.
Some sessions will be tough, and there will be times when you feel you aren’t making progress. But at every juncture, there will be an opportunity.
- You’ll get to build your courage every time you face fear in exposure-response therapy.
- You’ll get to discover new things about yourself when you’re brave enough to share how you’re feeling.
- If you feel yourself backsliding into old habits, you can practice being compassionate with yourself, and relearn your emotional regulation techniques more deeply.
- If you discover that one individual or situation causes you trouble, good. Now you can work with that knowledge and start to break it down.
The more problems you face, the better you can get at raising your self-awareness, self-regulating, and showing yourself compassion.
4. You Get What You Give In Therapy
Certain therapies involve you following a program with your therapist.
They can create a comfortable environment, teach you effective coping techniques, guide you through painful moments, and be loyal mentors every step of the way.
But this is only one aspect of the process. The other is you.
Ultimately, you determine if you get better or not. You determine if you come to your sessions, commit to the therapy, and work with your therapist to the best of your ability.
- You’re the one who practices your DBT skills when you feel yourself becoming dysregulated.
- You’re the one who can become mindful of and address intrusive thoughts.
- You’re the one who can quit the negative habits that fuel your depression and anxiety.
- You’re the one who can share painful memories with your therapist so you can work with them.
- You’re the one who can bring your child to their sessions and model positive behaviors for them.
This is all within your power, and even when you’re struggling, you can still be proactive about how you approach your problems.
The more effort you put in, the more of a difference you’ll start to see.
5. Therapy Works
Nothing in therapy is done without scientific backing.
The strategies, methods, and skills taught in therapy are based on evidence that demonstrates measurable improvements in the individuals who use them.
- Exposure Response Prevention (ERP) is the gold standard for treating anxiety and fear. It helps individuals diminish their sources of fear and panic, even to the point of boredom.
- CBT is essentially the cognitive rewiring of one’s thoughts. By recognizing unhelpful, negative thoughts, individuals can sort through their depressive and anxious symptoms leading to more positive outlooks and behaviors.
- DBT is a highly effective method for relating to others, tempering strong emotional storms, and learning to recognize and appreciate your strengths.
- PMT and SPACE (Parent Management Training and Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) are proven strategies for strengthening family bonds and reducing negative behaviors in children.
You won’t be dealing with vague, pie-in-the-sky ideas in therapy. You’ll be dealing with what works.
6. The Ultimate Goal Is Independence
Systematic therapies are goal-oriented. You work to extinguish fear, relate better to others, or learn to love yourself.
A therapist’s goal is to make you mentally and emotionally resilient enough to handle problems, in addition to teaching you how to thrive in life.
For these reasons, therapy is not meant to last forever. The real goal of a therapist is to teach you to be your own therapist.
It will always be available to you, and it will last as long as you need it to. But keeping you in therapy beyond what is necessary would be hindering you, not serving you.
The skills you gain in therapy become your emotional toolbox, and you will continue to use and master these tools throughout your life.
So be ready to learn, and know that addressing whatever you’re struggling with could be one of the most important things you ever do.