If you’ve decided to embark on a new journey with your child who’s been having trouble managing emotions, then be assured that you’re moving in the right direction.
Here’s a guide for making the most of the tools that will be given to you in our online parenting classes, and how you can be prepared for any situation your child might find themselves in.
Understanding the Terms “Emotional Dysregulation” and “Supersensing”
Emotional dysregulation is difficulty with managing one’s emotions and the actions that follow.
In a child’s case (6–12 year age range), we’re talking about struggling with irrational fears, emotional outbursts, frustration, or frequently seeming down.
Emotional dysregulation often occurs in neurodivergent cases as well, such as in ADHD, autism, and other Learning Differences.
Here’s a more comprehensive list of what emotional dysregulation can look like…
- Difficulty in mood steering, and or an inability to focus one’s feelings.
- Strong emotions getting in the way of goals or plans.
- Being irritated by insignificant events.
- Mood swings.
- Impulsivity.
- Grandiose emotions interlaced with long periods of depression.
- Regular emotional outbursts and irritability between outbursts.
In some cases, emotional dysregulation can stem from a child’s natural tendency toward strong emotions. “Supersenser” is a term given to children born with this disposition.
Also known as “highly sensitive people” (HSPs), supersensers go through life with less of an emotional filter, meaning they more fully absorb all of the noises, words, colors, and feelings of the world around them.
High sensitivity can be identified from an early age, and for the most part, it is a gift. It can just come with some difficulties, including…
- Being easily overwhelmed by their environments.
- Being more sensitive to criticism.
- Being more prone to carrying emotional burdens that they may keep from others for fear of judgment.
- Being more prone to negative outbursts.
The Tools You Will Be Given, and The Message You’ll Learn to Send
What you’ll learn in our online parenting classes are practical skills that you can use to help your child regulate their emotions when things get difficult.
DBT-C (Dialectical Behavior Therapy for Children) is a proven method for addressing the difficulties that come with feeling intense emotions.
Here’s what it will look like…
- Teaching your child to use mindfulness practices to stay present with one’s emotions instead of getting swept up in them.
- Teaching your child how to self-soothe when feelings become overwhelming; the key element being that they learn to soothe themselves, even when you’re not around.
- Teaching your child how to accept their emotions fully without trying to reject or wrestle with them.
- Teaching your child interpersonal skills that allow them to effectively express their emotions and needs to others.
- Teaching your child to recognize the thoughts and urges that lead to ineffective results (self-harm, angry outbursts).
- Teaching your child to respect others’ perspectives in addition to their own.
In the case of supersensers, the main focus will be on teaching your child to see their sensitivity as a strength:
- Sensitivity Is Not Weakness— You teach your child that sensitivity gives them immense intuitive and creative potential and that sensitivity and weakness are not the same thing.
- Partnering Over Harsh Discipline — Supersensing children need structure like all kids do, but instead of harsh discipline, they function better with more collaborative parenting. They seek to be actively heard and understood.
- Connection Over Everything — In line with collaborative parenting, supersensers are looking to feel deep connections with others, especially their loved ones.
The three core areas that DBT-C focuses on are a sense of self-love, a sense of safety, and a sense of belonging.
- Sense of Self Love: This is cultivating in a child the sense that their worth starts before anything they do. The conditional elements of their self-esteem (accomplishments) are built upon the foundation of their core sense of worth as human beings (the unconditional element).
- Sense of Safety: This is cultivating the child’s understanding that their needs are being met securely and reliably. This helps them develop a natural trust in themselves and the world at large.
- Sense of Belonging: When a child lacks a sense of belonging, they may develop feelings of abandonment and feel that they are not welcome in whatever group they are a part of, whether that be the family unit or otherwise. These feelings can carry over into interpersonal relationships in the future.
Some Last Tips for Making the Most of Our Online Parenting Group
A developing child is learning to manage themselves and interact with the world around them.
What’s most important during this time is to cultivate in them the ability to manage their feelings effectively, and to help them learn how to communicate their needs to others as best they can.
- Try to implement the tools you learn as naturally as possible without making them seem like a procedure. You do this by internalizing the principles of DBT-C, and addressing issues as they pop up.
- Let them know that it is ok to make mistakes and have bad days. Learning to regulate oneself is a lifelong skill that even many adults have yet to master.
- Emphasize that none of this is about suppressing emotions. It is about learning to channel and accept strong emotions, and express them in effective ways.
- Listen to your child, and always do your best to understand where they’re coming from, even when they’re being difficult.
Remember: these are skills that will be used for life. The earlier your child learns these skills, the better they will be able to engage with the world as they enter adulthood. They will develop the resilience and emotional intelligence to get their needs met and respect the needs of others, which will lead them to a fulfilling future.
If you or someone you know is in need of support, we’re here to help.
Schedule a free consultation with one of our expert psychologists and take the first step towards healing and growth.
Click here to book your free consultation now.
