Negative thoughts are not a problem by themselves. A person who could only experience positive thoughts would not be able to evaluate real-life situations.
But when our thoughts become a constant barrage of negativity and self-deprecation, this majorly impacts our lives, our potential, and our well-being.
Here are six strategies you can employ to deal with negative thoughts, and how you can reframe them to serve you.
1. See Negative Thoughts as Meaningful Indicators
Experiencing negative thoughts frequently does not mean that “it’s just the way your brain works.”
Some people may be more naturally sensitive than others, but that doesn’t mean they are doomed to always feel bad.
Your negative thoughts about yourself, your environment, or the world at large, could be pointing to critical issues that need addressing. They are not something you should immediately label a malady.
Instead, your negative thoughts can be interpreted as data that you can use to evaluate your situation and make meaningful changes.
Here’s an example:
- You start having negative thoughts about yourself when you’re around particular people. This could be a warning sign. Ask yourself: “Is this environment really good for me? Do these people have my best interest, or am I just spending time with them because they’re all I know?”
Key Reframe: Negative thoughts could be your body and mind warning you of something that’s not good for you, or of environments that are harmful to you without you realizing it.
2. Reframe Your Understanding of “Intrusive” Thoughts
Intrusive thoughts are the odd phenomenon of experiencing thoughts that don’t feel like they’re “yours.”
They could come in the form of momentary urges, mental images, or ideas that are violent or sexual; things that seem so out of character that they make you feel like you’re secretly a monster (especially if you’re experiencing them for the first time).
Here’s what you need to know about intrusive thoughts: The more you focus on trying to prevent, reverse, or cognitively purge yourself of bad thoughts, the more often you’ll have them.
Your mind is a constant flow of thoughts, and repressing them is like plugging a dam that’s waiting to burst. Eventually, they are going to make their way through.
But it’s not because you’re secretly a bad person. It’s because you’re human and everyone has intrusive thoughts. Most often, they are a result of fear, momentary anger, or just a creative imagination.
The difference is that some people get obsessed with their thoughts, fearing they are something they aren’t. The ones who don’t get obsessed think, “Huh, that was weird,” don’t judge themselves, and move on with their day.
Key Reframe: Everyone has scary thoughts sometimes, so allow yourself to think about them, even when it’s uncomfortable, and they will cease to have power over your mind. And they’ll happen less frequently too.
3. They Are a Result of Something That Happened a Long Time Ago
Our life experiences, especially as small children, can shape how we think as adults.
Children are thought to be mostly egocentric, meaning they see everything that happens to them as being “because of them.” If we experience trauma or interpret the behavior of a caregiver in the wrong way as children, it can affect how we see ourselves.
That means that the thoughts and beliefs we hold today could be a result of something that happened long ago, and they may not match with reality.
We need to work on evaluating our negative thoughts and testing their truthfulness so we can create a more accurate belief system about ourselves.
Key Reframe: Break down your negative thoughts and beliefs with CBT principles.
For example, take any negative thought or belief and ask yourself:
- Is there substantial evidence for this thought?
- Is there contradictory evidence for this thought?
- Does this matter?
- Is there someone in my mind I’m trying to please?
- What am I believing about myself at this moment?
Asking yourself these questions leads to deeper wisdom and realizations about why you do the things you do, and why you think how you think.
4. Negative Thoughts Can Be Your Conscience
We all try to make changes. We make promises to ourselves, but sometimes we don’t end up doing what we set out to do.
You may not have harmed anyone. But there is a chance that you’ve been cheating yourself.
Maybe you set your goals too high, and you need to adjust your thinking to focus on smaller goals for now. But if you aren’t acting at all, then maybe you need to reframe how you’re thinking.
Here’s an example:
- You always think: “I’m never going to be more social and make friends. I’m just not that kind of person.” Instead, you can say, “The only reason I’m having these thoughts is that I’m not taking action toward my goal. I know I can do this, but I’m not taking the necessary steps because I’m not willing to make mistakes.
Key Reframe: Don’t cheat yourself. The more you put off meaningful changes, the more you let yourself down, and the more your thoughts will remind you of what you really want.
5. Negative Thoughts Are a Chance to Show Yourself Compassion
Self-compassion is not easy.
When we have a long history of putting ourselves down, choosing self-compassion can feel unjustified and pointless.
But it is a practice to not act from a place of an abusive inner critic; one we may have developed as a way of protecting ourselves from danger or being unloved (see #3).
When we view ourselves from a place of unconditional negative regard, we must undo this thinking by treating ourselves gently.
Key Reframe: See any cruelty coming from your inner critic, or any episode of negative thoughts, as opportunities to show yourself love; to treat yourself like you would someone you deeply care about. Always ask yourself if you would treat a friend how you’re treating yourself.
Negative Thoughts Are Raw Materials
Don’t see them as something you always need to banish. They could be guiding you in the right direction. So, see your negative thoughts as…
- Meaningful indicators of a bad situation.
- Natural things that happen to everyone.
- A result of past experiences you need to analyze.
- Your conscience reminding you of who you want to be.
- Opportunities to grow your self-compassion.
If you or someone you know is in need of support, we’re here to help.
Schedule a free consultation with one of our expert psychologists and take the first step towards healing and growth.
Click here to book your free consultation now.
